Monday, January 26, 2015

The Network

Those guys over at Elite Dogs are right in one sense.

There is a network, and the commitment of blue chip recruits Rasool Clemons and Van Jefferson over the weekend establish that The Network is still very, very effective.

Here's how The Network works:

1. There's a picturesque small town called Oxford. Everybody who has ever been there pretty much loves it at first sight. Don't go to this place. 

2. Ole Miss with its gorgeous campus and beautiful people lies in the direct center of Oxford. Oxford and the Ole Miss campus are dangerous co-conspirators working within The Network. Avoid them or you'll quickly get sucked in.

3. Nestled deep within the Ole Miss campus are these pristine football facilities, inside of which work these guys...we'll call them the Assistants. The Assistants are basically church youth group leaders disguised as football coaches. They are the life blood of the Network. Each of the Assistants appear really nice and they can even be seen praying and worshiping together. Their personalities allow them to build these things called relationships wherein they give off the appearance that they really want what is best for their players. Keep a close eye on the Assistants. They're dangerous.

4. The Assistants answer to one man - the head honcho. His name is Hugh Freeze, but don't let that name fool you because he's actually really warm and genuine. Something about him makes you want to be around him more. He knows how to coach football, and he gives these inspirational speeches. Gosh darn the man can give a good talk. He has won everywhere he's been, too. High School. Lambuth. Arkansas State. Ole Miss. He even beat Alabama. They say he can win anywhere. In fact his Ole Miss team has gotten steadily better in each of his first three seasons. Watch out for this man. If you see him, don't talk to him.

5. The Assistants and Freeze do this thing where they tell recruits they'll play early.....and then...and you have to really watch this one....they actually PLAY freshmen. Several of these freshmen then become Freshmen All-Americans and make the Freshman All-SEC team. Essentially the way it works is this: The coaches promise they will do something and then they follow through on that promise. This causes recruits to believe the coaches when they talk. This is where the Network probably gets the most dangerous.

6. ESPN and CBS, networks in their own right, are also part of The Network. They put all of the Ole Miss football games on national television, which means kids can have everything The Network offers in 1-5 above and then actually play on a national television network, become famous and go on to play in the NFL. This last piece is often too much to overcome.

This is how the The Network operates. Please do not share this blog post with anyone. We don't want this to get "out there", if you know what I mean. Yes, the Network is amazingly effective. It's growing in power each year. Avoid it. Or you just might become a part of it....